I Need A Break!

This post is rated R so be prepared for some potty mouth! I have reached my boiling point and the lid has popped off! I am submerged in stupidity on a daily bases and I can't take no more! I have resorted to pacifying myself with spoonfuls of Betty Crocker chocolate icing, that or I will end up in a Chinese prison   when I take to beating the shit out of random Chinese people.

Today while at the supermarket I was pushed almost off my feet by a lady working there. I assumed she was being chased by a group of gangsta's, in fact she was just going to unpack a box of watermelons......WTF?  Followed by the guy who hocked a luggie on the floor......ya you heard me IN THE SUPERMARKET!

All I really wanted was to buy some f***ing feta cheese, that they carry one day and then not the next. I was also in the market for some lettuce to make a salad but since Chinese people don't eat salad, that can be a treat to find. Oh I found some......slimy brown wilted shit! I just want to go to the store and buy what I know and what I eat ........ I don't want cow testicles and cat assholes.......just a little cheese!

Then I ask the lady where the miso is........she says " Ting bu dong" .......f**k you and you don't understand. Let me clarify she wasn't nicely telling me she didn't understand it was rude and no eye contact.......bitch is lucky I didn't ting bu dong her right over the head with my basket!

I NEED TO GET AWAY!

Out & About Eh!

 So it's been awhile since I have written.......sorry, but life gets in the way sometimes lol. We were home for 3 weeks vacation, and had a hard time adjusting when we returned......in a bit of a funk. I was talking to my Grandma and she said my Dad used to say the same thing when they would go back to Africa after being home on vacation.I have sooooo many pictures stored up for blogs, maybe when the weather gets a little colder I will catch up on some stories. But here are some pictures of some stuff I took when I was out & about one day.

What happen to Arm & HAMMER????

Glad I'm not drowning in the pool right now.....wonder if he'd wake up?

No I have not eaten these.......I'm afraid!

Getting the car washed & vac for the low low price of $1.60

Lunch

Hmmmm.......no thanks

 I did try these...... they defiantly taste like lobster. Deane loves them.

Busted......This is so typical chinese, just hanging out in the store.

Ummm these are not the same Simpsons we know! 

These guys work while no safety equipment.......they are not tied to anything.....YIKES

Fruity tasting potato chips......not really my thing. Isaac says there gross.

Numb & Spicy!

Hey is that the Cape Breton Tartan???? LOL

Ahhh yes the Blacket????? why not use google translate for pete sake.l

35 degrees and she is modelling winter jackets .....WHY????

Acu......TORTURE!!!!

Tell me how it is, that I get myself talked into these crazy things! I guess when I heard the words "lose 3 kilos" everything went fuzzy after that......kinda like when you say "boobies" to a man! ( or beer.....or beer and boobies) Anyway........... We had spent a wonderful afternoon with our Finnish friends, lunch followed by a 2 hr foot and body massage. As we are getting ready to leave our massage we are discussing the plans that the "Fins" had to go for acupuncture,  they suggest we tag along and try it out. Ok cool......again I hear.....weight loss and to a girl with some chub, I have to tell you it's pretty damn exciting!

So we head to the acupuncture place a very beautiful, warm and inviting atmosphere. We take our shoes off and sit at a table and they bring us a cup of tea.  And then we go in........Our friend is having some acupuncture on his back, Deane is having some on his foot ( for pain). And then there's me, as I lie on the table with my shirt pulled up I repeatedly say in my terribly broken Chinese.....bu yao tong! (Translation)  NO WANT PAIN!!!! lol.......Oh he assured me there would be no pain. Then he started applying the needles, which I have to tell ya, felt as though he was throwing darts at my stomach.....18 needles later.....Ok I know the needles are small, but shut up, you try sticking them in your belly!!!! I would so not make a good junkie!

OHHHH it gets better!!!! They hook up what looks like little jumper cables for a car battery to the needles ( which I would like to remind you are still in my flesh) and turn on the electricity. So now that I have made it past the pain of the "darts" thrown in my stomach, I now feel like a piece of fabric in a sewing machine. The needles are not moving but it feels like it.

So now that I am numb with fear and pain.......Dr comes in and turns up the machine!!!!  Seriously!.....NOT COOL! All the while my wonderful "Fin" is happily snapping pictures of my big flabby white belly! So as a kind gesture to all of you I put all of the pictures in black and white to tone down the starkness of the belly. However I'm sorry I can do nothing about the size or the sexy stretch marks. I mean photo shop is good, but not that good!  I only do all this so all of you can experience all the things China has to offer.......through my eyes!

The Machine

Foot Note: I will stop eating ice cream and hit the gym more!!!!

I'm Scared!

It hurt dammit!

I would like to pay tribute to the "Die Gummistiefel" Band. I have no idea why they couldn't have picked a name we could all pronounce! This is a band Isaac and his friends have created. Maddie is the singer, Julius & Jakob are brothers and then there's Isaac.

Bring on the fire!

Okay, so Deane has finally lost his cupping virginity.  So after our foot massage we had some cupping. He was a little nervous at first, as they started to apply the cups I asked him if it hurt and he said "not at all!" I figured he was lying, cause it's no massage. Nope turns out the man I married is a Masochist! ........FREAK! He said next time he is going to tell them he wants it harder.....ummmm judging by the color of the marks I dare say he doesn't need it any harder!

I know what's coming! PAIN

I think he was a little scared! lol

Those ones on the shoulders are a wee bit sore for the next few days!

The Freak and his war wounds.... he's so proud! lol

We do this because it's good for removing toxins...... and by the looks of my husband, he's a little toxic!

A Day in The Life.....Of Me!

I'm sorry my blog has not been updated lately. I have had a busy month with family visiting, first my Mom & Tom and then my cousin Brian and his wife Andreea. On top of it all I have been asked by a few parents to teach English to their children through the summer vacation. So I have started a Teaching English as a second language course, so I have some idea of what to do!  I'm thinking it will be nice to make a little cash........( my massage money) lol. I have been spending all of my free time with my nose to the grind stone.
I wanted to share with you one of my favorite moments in the day. I throw on my headphones and off I go on my daily walk or run......and this is where I go, along the river. Just up the road from our apt. These are the moments I feel I would rather be here than anywhere else in the world. This really is China through my eyes!